Sunday, July 15, 2012

"The Iron Witch" Review

Giveaway Reminders: 200 Follower Giveaway and "Pledged" Giveaway
Hello my little moonbeams!

Sorry for the late post today. As you may have already noticed there is a blaring lack of an IN MY MAILBOX for today.

That's because I'm going to do it tomorrow.

I'm still out of town and I have little internet access. Not enough to be able to make a vlog, which is very much what I want to do. So! I'm going to save that for tomorrow and get it to you a day late.

For today we'll just settle with a review, and perhaps even.... a rant.

Here we go!


*"The Iron Witch"*
* Karen Mahoney *
Title: The Iron Witch
Author: Karen Mahoney
Genre: Fantasy
Publication: February 8, 2011
Pages: 299

Freak. That's what her classmates call seventeen-year-old Donna Underwood. When she was seven, a horrific fey attack killed her father and drove her mother mad. Donna's own nearly fatal injuries from the assault were fixed by magic—the iron tattoos branding her hands and arms. The child of alchemists, Donna feels cursed by the magical heritage that destroyed her parents and any chance she had for a normal life. The only thing that keeps her sane and grounded is her relationship with her best friend, Navin Sharma.When the darkest outcasts of Faerie—the vicious wood elves—abduct Navin, Donna finally has to accept her role in the centuries old war between the humans and the fey. Assisted by Xan, a gorgeous half-fey dropout with secrets of his own, Donna races to save her friend—even if it means betraying everything her parents and the alchemist community fought to the death to protect.

Auggie-Talk Quill Rating


That's the best word I can use to describe this train wreck of literary garbage. It's worse than Twilight. In fact, I'd say it was even worse than FALLEN, which is really saying something. I venture that this is one of the worst books I have ever laid my hands on. Ever.

No depth. The majority of the book sounded as though a 12 year old had gotten a hold of an "Alchemy for Dummies" book and then taken a run with it via fan-fiction. As of page 84 I realized that I couldn't even remember the main characters name after putting the book down to get something to drink.

Now that's just sad.

A few things...

A girl who is supposedly shy and feels way out of place with a boy like Alexander sure does know how to FLIRT efficiently (and a lot) with him. Her flirty antics don't match the description of the characters shy and reserved disposition. She really shouldn't be firing off flirty text messages with winky faces.

Page 108- I realized: I FORGOT THE MAIN CHARACTER'S NAME AGAIN. Seriously...

A girl who spends SO MUCH TIME thinking about how much of a freak she is for being RAISED in an environment filled with knowledge of the fae, you'd think she'd be a little bit less CLUELESS. Barely a day after being attacked by a dark elf that can take on ANY human form and she's still confused when a homeless man attacks her and Xan in a dark alley for no apparent reason? WHY DOES THIS SHOCK HER? In fact, I would suspect that after the previous circumstance that would be the FIRST thing on her mind. But no. Donna (finally looked her name up) watches frantically, confused, bewildered, and useless, as her date is put in a chokehold by a homeless person she refers to as "dude".

Terms like "super-fast" should not be used in descriptive paragraphs.

Pg 160: "It was refreshing, when you considered how the kids at Ironbridge High were so unbelievably emo with only the slightest provocation." Pot calling the kettle black!!!! Like this girl isn't the most EMO character this side of FALLEN. One of the most annoying sentences I'VE EVER READ.
I still can't comprehend how horrible this book was. How did this even get published? I just don't understand. Mr. J got tired of me throwing the book around, sighing hugely, and rolling my eyes. Eventually he said "Just stop reading it!"

But I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and continued. Waste....of....time. But you know what, we need books as bad as this one to REALLY appreciate the good ones and to put into perspective the books that we once THOUGHT were really bad.
I realize...really I do... that many of the book bloggers out there refuse to give bad or scathing reviews on books because there might be someone out there who would enjoy it. 

I made the decision after reading FALLEN that I would be one of the blogs that sugar coated nothing. You get my opinion. That's what this blog is all about. If I thought the book was rubbish, I'm going let you know it. That's how this works.

The only time you will NOT be hearing my honest opinion on a bad book is if it was a review request. No books that I am requested to read will make it to an Auggie-Talk review without at least a 3/5 rating. If it's worse than that I won't post it. That is politeness. But books that I spent good money on right off the shelf... you better believe I'm going to be dragging out my soap box.

*Takes a deep breath* I feel a rant coming on. But I think I'll save it for later this week. You guys just keep an eye out for that.

I can not recommend this book, honestly, to any of you reading.

Hm. Don't want to end this post on a sour note so...Sunshine, butterflies, and happy thoughts!

There you go! See you tomorrow love doves with a belated IMM #10.

Until Next Blog, 
Read On! 

1 comment:

  1. I have come across one other honest review of The Iron Witch with someone who also didn't sugar coat anything. Personally I prefer an honest review like your 'rant', so I know what to expect.